in decision

One day I'm wandering along A path dropping away By a river I imagined life lived next to it Escaped Free Challenged Then I see it, real, believed, necessary The next day I un-box a new tv Using money for material Needless pleasure Electronic joy Unchallenged Safe Who am I really?

circular motion allows me the deep insight i watched my mind found strength behind forms having now wanting be i imagine the next life is evermore passionate as this one can make me feel ecstatic

i apologise for mistakes i make my haste and sense lose time and belief i drop from space allowing only thoughts and touch mechanic motions that are not present my being is whole without my mind present i lose the moment around me and sometimes it saddens me i grasp try to breathe it in get lost and cycle within without me i am not myself so? to my loss? to yours? so i hide

dropped among lose ends i traipsed within time encompassed by its whole slipping only when forced i do but assume an escape, as i write said word elongated to my own existence, belief whole honest truths not able to realise. that within stems my future to be seen as me alone rife

feeling depth understood only from learning i escape into the void that is mind perhaps memory despairingly hope seeing the hanging to wit i cling i let go understanding that alone i am me simple not inhabited completely by needs influenced. selfish perhaps desiring wholeheartedly to find ease safe in the emptiness of being, i sit. still holding to love, lust, longing and hope weakness abides is it trust in my beliefs or human touch that i lack? i don't want to speak, i have delved deep without knowing why following the past read only feeling that it is right for now as i can only project who i am at face value as i am not strong enough to be completely free yet to be me as i wish, without vice aloft of desire and need i must pine my love has changed.

for that moment that place the escape that is enabled shamelessly me enshrined in a smile because of it the music the loop the levity that i hold dearly as it is where i find my joy dancing alone within masked by the beat lucid to the eternal because i can be lost within myself among the noise my own being that reaches for a happiness that drapes time to forget for me is to hold close time moment visions of the joy passed and the future that lay ahead only alive will i feel this passion awakening forgiving i shall always be

am i but only wanting to be anew being simply an imprisoned image of my limited vision acting becoming while only showing a small sense of self a part withheld within my own scope not disappointed afraid of the reach or hopeful of a rise but journeying awakening and discovering Could what feels slowly be but just a matter of fact of time? perhaps i am aloft empty and void of needless hoping as i dont need its will its talon as i am me