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without a home
not fixed as the root seems
never feeling alone


to find a goal
shaped passed a measure once thought
freedom of moment

to sleep

and to dream of
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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

and far

startlingly real pain that washes over and over

wanting only to be enshrined, engulfed

by sensation by thought

a construct of delusion and joy
realities that may not exist past the confines

of skin

you want only to believe in that moment
with only the pleasures existent because of you

unknowingly forced to stop and see
go outside the walls

seeking but unable to hold onto
depth, the warmth


to have the soft, plush wool pulled upon you

when i cant make it play it hurts
where has the mind gone

like love it is palpable
the only shifts and changes are your repetitive strokes
you dont know how to be fulfilled, back and forth

only new directions of sound highlight the space around

not alone but you are

so alone

and so shall i

strengthening the mind with the knowledge of the past
their experiences
and beliefs

challenging myself with worlds that feel so apparent
noticed closely within this time

being allowed makes me feel blessed
and excited by prospect

of development
and growth

i cant escape my wonder at how life can always be
at whom i am
and at what place i sit

in this vast system
evolving time

death, life and rebirth
nature abides

and stuns

Am I me?

One day I'm wandering along
A path dropping away
By a river
I imagined life lived next to it
Then I see it, real, believed, necessary
The next day I un-box a new tv
Using money for material
Needless pleasure
Electronic joy

Who am I really?

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
to my loss?

to yours?

so i hide