take me, make me your under
and i will be able to push you past what you feel is capable of your true being.
i sat and i too went beyond for reasons that were to my own interest
yet in such, though i was able to push past and show that life outside of life is what it isn't,
believe it is
much a mess is escaped
and i but hard...but it is.
i don't know where to start, unsure what fuels my need to be open and expressive about the dire feelings and thoughts that currently run within and throughout my mind. i have the sense to try to quell all the lost energies that pass by, holding tight to the notion that a past, present and future me will be able to read this information successfully and too be able to process each thought had, rationalise it and then (dreaming?) expand upon the blank canvas that is the then. but i don't know if (it) i will. will i see myself in time from now, or even in time from now and be able to justify the great dwelling and confusion that i presently feel? now, don't get me wrong at all, this is not put in place to sadden perhaps even annoy any one, this is simply the thought process escaping through the fingers you see. so i feel dread. this dread is not my own lost or confused thoughts but actual dread. perhaps bought on by years of substance abuse (no longer the case) perhaps i…