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ouch

awakened into a light we are all born, given with agony into this world we all begin to exist. do we meditate on the pain felt by our mothers? do we see their hearts break as we do wrong? their love is forever and like an everlasting wind it cannot be put out. do we give it back? never as strong as it is given. it is a love a child does not have to give but longs to encapsulate and upon this the love grows. a mothers love is pure, happiness bounds within its field.
as a man i will never feel this, only witness it, share it and be apart of it but it will never be as strong. i can love and see happiness in the breeze blowing through the leaves but i will never hold it as strong as at the moment a mother gives birth.
or can i?
does enlightenment break through the boundaries of reality and offer me the love of the universe that will in turn share with me the feelings of life that such an experience offers? i believe so.
i chase peace and harmony on a material level but still, yet, i am shown life.
why don't i take it?
it is not my time, i have so much to learn, so much to give before i can escape and feel truly safe and open. this alone drives my inner spirit even when i do not recognize it. it drives us all, through this life, many more lives and beyond. it is such a fun ride, living, so fun that it makes me pain with anguish to touch it more and elates me so high when i reach its outer rim.
ah life, what a joy it is to live.

smile on, smile with, smile for because this will help you get close.

peace

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given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

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shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

awakening

without a home
not fixed as the root seems
never feeling alone

opening

to find a goal
shaped passed a measure once thought
freedom of moment

to sleep

and to dream of

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide