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still motivated

a year ago and it seems like forgotten time. sometimes it is only in this time space, of years passed is it that we connect with others, through dates and what become norms, forgetting feelings, forgetting that it is love that brings us each moment. real love shared by the whole, but as each individual within it we are allowed to feel it, find it and experience all. and it is all. all around us, all within us this hidden gem that through time and the histories great has held many names, forms and shapes. all of which sit within us all.
a year ago and have i changed? i hope not. i hope i am always within the heart of myself that i am yet to find. i love this journey, this quest, for all that it has brought obvious to me now, and for all the wisdom it has instilled deep inside me, shared by all, to be found.

to sit

simple thoughts that become encased troublesome worries, and for what? why?

where else does one stand so afraid of the next step because they know it means so much? its about release and where you are able to feel it and to then feel good feeling it, as you all know that each move is too judged as much by you as another, but thats the loss, the lost feeling that we can let go because there is nothing we need hold to, but love.

moments come and go by in instant flashes, what are we holding onto, which part of what happens to us is seen by others, what do we show and who are we to others?

and then it all changes.

like that. instant moments are reality. instant moments in reality are so far beyond how we have notioned them to be. its getting lost in sense.

the mandlebrot set.

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

awakening

without a home
not fixed as the root seems
never feeling alone

opening

to find a goal
shaped passed a measure once thought
freedom of moment

to sleep

and to dream of

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide