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enter the chaos



honesty smashed up against reality
a sight that envelopes the heart
allowing the mind its freedom
its itch

its nastiness

always too active, never in mind, that oneness which feels whole, beauty that is divine
held i am aloft in sights and sounds, afraid to reach forward as each moment i am

alone

enveloped

the freedom i feel, that seems so dormant, lay awaiting, smiling, enjoying

i am there
i hide me
i allow
its all because

never a doubt

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide

and so shall i

strengthening the mind with the knowledge of the past
their experiences
ways
and beliefs

challenging myself with worlds that feel so apparent
noticed closely within this time

being allowed makes me feel blessed
honored
and excited by prospect

of development
peace
and growth

i cant escape my wonder at how life can always be
at whom i am
and at what place i sit

in this vast system
evolving time

death, life and rebirth
nature abides


and stuns