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am i right?

feeling depth understood only from learning
i escape into the void that is mind
perhaps memory
despairingly hope

seeing the hanging to wit i cling
i let go
understanding that alone i am
me
simple
not inhabited completely by needs influenced.

selfish perhaps
desiring wholeheartedly to find ease

safe in the emptiness of being, i sit.
still holding to love, lust, longing and hope

weakness abides

is it trust in my beliefs or human touch that i lack?

i don't want to speak, i have delved deep without knowing why
following the past read
only feeling that it is right

for now
as i
can only project who i am at face value
as i am not strong enough to be completely free

yet

to be me
as i wish, without vice
aloft of desire and need

i must pine

my love has changed.

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide

and so shall i

strengthening the mind with the knowledge of the past
their experiences
ways
and beliefs

challenging myself with worlds that feel so apparent
noticed closely within this time

being allowed makes me feel blessed
honored
and excited by prospect

of development
peace
and growth

i cant escape my wonder at how life can always be
at whom i am
and at what place i sit

in this vast system
evolving time

death, life and rebirth
nature abides


and stuns