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as naked as this life

one so few and surely so many
time behind a veil only to show itself in perhaps our weakest moments

its only a start that i look for in life, I'm always happy to be coming along for the journey but i do wonder where it, i, you started. what do you feel is the beginning?? have we seen it perhaps. there are many out there within us that feel they have become what is the beginning, and i enjoy their stories, their tales (tails : ) perhaps though still discontented to imagine that i too should not be able to see it

you feel it as the itch that sits nowhere and cannot be scratched, you feel it as you see the moon rise over the sun, you hear it when a baby cries and when tears fall, but are we allowed to experience it perhaps??

suppose that it has gone or was not even for us to know at all? so what then of those that profess, confess and dissolve into our hearts. i believe that we all should, but not always could be allowed, to experience divinity in our lives. now divinity is but just such a word that becomes of simple explanation and of thought but i do see that beyond such a term is a knowing that we should (d0) posses.

not all being worthy of such. and it can only be seen as a knowing. i don't feel that any thought feeling or emotion can be expressed in language, but through only... and yes, true then, what is a thought but an impulse perhaps of the brain, or for the divine, a showing of time.

i don't know where time will lead us, and why, but time is so vast that these "thoughts" : ) are but self indulgent to even the most enlightened, perhaps given of us all. time does only smile upon us as it watches from distances so far, happy that life moves with its progression, but with no life of its own as time holds pure to memories and owns all

we are all Harlem clowns, silly forgotten frowns that time will enjoy beyond

i still hide from it all, still lost in a time of my own perhaps hoping and enjoying when another sees a piece of what i can see, sharing is all i need, but all i want is in my head and alone

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

awakening

without a home
not fixed as the root seems
never feeling alone

opening

to find a goal
shaped passed a measure once thought
freedom of moment

to sleep

and to dream of

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide