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my meditation

i don't enjoy this tone but feel that (led by the soft hand of scotch, yes on a Monday) it is necessary.

when you are walking through your street, in a metropolis or not, and you see a gentle soul that stands in your path. you know that this person will be asking you for money, for a donation. they are not a beggar though you feel the need to perhaps treat them with such required indignity. they are not a nameless face as they wear their charity (and heart) on their sleeve.

but still, you walk by. this i do not detest. we all live lives that are complex and beautiful at the same time, not always able to co-exist in the present as the future or perhaps the past is seeking to keep a hold on our thoughts.

interruption.

so we see this person standing before us, in the street, in YOUR path and what do i see most of you doing?? it's like thay have a painted ring of roses on their door, like as a leper you can see their body parts falling from them, limbs dropping from their torso as you approach. like god had set you up to feel this guilt for having to pass this poor being that is beyond all help.

weak

i hate you all.

now i know how harsh a word hate is, i understand that some of you weak fools find that this word game we play called language has a scale for all words and that hate sits close to 10, 7 perhaps, not higher than cunt. : ) but Jesus, i mean this man is but a son of the son i choose to blaspheme upon, as am i and as are you all, so why such disgust?

this person that adorns our streets, creating as much personality to the cement world we live in, (as much as street art, but I'm sure you out there that shun him, shun the likes of such underground independent art that evolves around, nay, without you) as any other..

but i digress

i walk past these humans, these people giving a senseless part of themselves to a life and belief that they choose to support and i decline with a smile. I'm not rich, i cannot feed the teats as much i would like to, but i do not become apart of the crowd that parts before them (oh but for the irony of Moses) i walk by, i smile and nod, not with 'yes I'm passing you' thoughts, but with interest and respect to what they do and WHO THEY ARE.



people.



i know that you all want to feel like you are good inside, but until you are able to see that all people you pass, see, need, love and lust for are independent beings with their own reasons, their own motives, their own lives, we will never be one. i miss community. i miss happiness. i long for a time where i can smile freely and not feel like i am a rapist, a deviant, a whore or a foul soul. i long to be accepted and to share my life with others who will just smile without deception or distrust.



my meditation is the feeling of excreting.



my meditation is the wind in leaves.



my meditation is your honest smile.

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