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im your neighborhood spaceman

transitions not so sweet, will wet the feet
small souls given over to the hive is but all we are
sick to the teeth the hate and the love is so bittersweet
pain in the brain aches in the heart
glory is all that is sought, after all

what else is there??

but waiting for change, chasing the same yet knowing that each hold is different with each new grasp at the branch that sits above, so close to reach, yet so far

whole bodies not real, time and space co-exist, mind has gone to feel like strands of the time that has created it, an itch that runs so deep that only the mind feels it can scratch.

is this sweet? pain? torture? self mutilation of the most narcissistic, masochistic kind?

joy? or anguish of the heart? cries for help or leaps of love?

how do we know, but if not to experience and to hence forth decide, analyze and ponder within and on.

if there is no path to tread then we feel lost having only the space of our minds to exist upon. its tangible feelings that we want, something real that can be held, shared with all in the same context, this is what raves were, all in all the same feeling held tight as though it were real and would last forever close to each and all as one but so distant

is the world going to change me, shape me or show me anything for that matter? why should it? have i earned? do we need to, why cannot it just be given? perhaps it is. easy. simple.

i feel inactive with so much buzz around me, the hive affects us all

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

awakening

without a home
not fixed as the root seems
never feeling alone

opening

to find a goal
shaped passed a measure once thought
freedom of moment

to sleep

and to dream of

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide