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thank you friend

a bounce that passes past you
a hop that clears you
my life that is not yours
unable to give wholly to each smile that presents
unable to share

as i am selfish
as we are all selfish

as you don't want what is hard

you don't want to see the light for all its emptiness
you don't want to understand that the emptiness that is me is you

freedom of life from you is all i seek
hence freedom from my mind is all i need

emptiness

nothingness

escaping the minutae

it's the difficulty that excites me
the difficulty that challenges me

if it were not difficult,

why bother?

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inside and out

and everywhere like a rubberball in an open field

given too much freedom to realise you are trapped by your own confines

of realism

of excepted societal norms

of the now

wanting only to be held too tight
shown freedom to just be

to dance

gripped by the loops of mind
grappling to hope, salvation

understanding
of a different view

of how once you were

and now
wish to be

behind the veneer

i apologise for mistakes i make
my haste and sense lose time and belief
i drop from space
allowing only thoughts and touch
mechanic motions that are not present

my being is whole without my mind present

i lose the moment around me
and sometimes it saddens me

i grasp
try to breathe it in

get lost and cycle within

without me i am not myself
so?
to my loss?

to yours?


so i hide

and so shall i

strengthening the mind with the knowledge of the past
their experiences
ways
and beliefs

challenging myself with worlds that feel so apparent
noticed closely within this time

being allowed makes me feel blessed
honored
and excited by prospect

of development
peace
and growth

i cant escape my wonder at how life can always be
at whom i am
and at what place i sit

in this vast system
evolving time

death, life and rebirth
nature abides


and stuns