whole again

feeling strong emotions, unable to discern

from the pain of need, want, desire
to the longing for lust, greed and hope

awash with self i have been but unable to contain
my empty thoughts
my pain

self involved so deep within my mind
left to believe that i am mine

falsifying my own existence to pray for a stronger day
unable to see, to realise that the shame shows me the way

beyond minutes and hours, those periods that make me feel so weak
at he knees, lost again, helplessly
caught up with blinkers on

i should feel ashamed.

when i understand after time passed, i do but open up once more
forgiving others
forgiving hate
releasing myself

i can be in control but i digress

i smile
i feign

until i can be